funny quotes life

   

   

Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you reach your destiny. ~Carl Schurz

Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

What deep wounds ever closed without a scar? ~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Child Harold's Pilgrimage

A religion can no more afford to degrade its Devil than to degrade its God. ~Havelock Ellis

Vanity plays lurid tricks with our memory. ~Joseph Conrad

You are a human being. You have rights inherent in that reality. You have dignity and worth that exists prior to law. ~Lyn Beth Neylon

Be thoughtful of others and you will not be shy, for they are incompatible addictions. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. ~Andy Rooney

The field of Western medicine has become literally nothing but medicine. Doctors are on their way out, to be replaced by self-serve pharmaceutical vending machines. ~Grey Livingston

If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane. ~Author Unknown

Making mistakes simply means you are learning faster. ~Weston H. Agor

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. ~Denis Diderot

Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. ~Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb, "Rock Bottom" (song)

Beautiful and graceful, varied and enchanting, small but approachable, butterflies lead you to the sunny side of life. And everyone deserves a little sunshine. ~Jeffrey Glassberg

A statistical analysis, properly conducted, is a delicate dissection of uncertainties, a surgery of suppositions. ~M.J. Moroney

A promise is a comfort for a fool. ~Proverb

Advertising is only another form of statistics. ~Hartman Jule

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad. ~Arnold H. Glasgow

Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul. ~Quentin Bell